I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Randomize
