Plan B is the new Plan A
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
