Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
