Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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