All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
