i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
