he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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