Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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