Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Jerry, you need to find god
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
