They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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