Just mADE A PArabola og urine
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
