how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
