I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
