Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
