i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
