Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
