Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
