I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
