More tranny stories later!
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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