White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
