Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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