I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
