My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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