I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
