they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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