laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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