FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
