Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
