ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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