Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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