when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
