I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
