just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
