Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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