ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
