Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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