you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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