4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
