just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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