it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
well most of my day revolves around power hour
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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