We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
