I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
