you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
