Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
