If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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