rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
