playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
