I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
