so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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