Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
