If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We are two peas in an std pod
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
40s are totally the cure
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
