We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
