ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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